The Profile of Jane
Angel Bay Underworld
Understanding Jane: Profile
Interviewer: Shawna Kahn
Name: Jane Roe Austin Dean
Birthdate: November 18th, 1977
Occupation: Real-estate agent
Jane: Word on the street is your looking for me?
Kahn: That is correct.
Jane: Word also is you’re an investigative reporter.
Kahn: Also correct.
Jane: Well, Ms. Kahn. You have my attention; the question is do you really want it?
Kahn: Yes. You’re a hard person to get attention from. If you’re ready, let’s get started. Please explain your background:
Jane: I was the youngest of three daughters all born to a wealthy logging family in Northern Minnesota. My father, Janson Joseph Austin, the oldest of four brothers, was a prominent figure in the logging world in the late 70’s. He was 6’7’’ tall and weighed over 350 pounds. He had a lumberjack frame and was a modern-day type of Paul Bunyan. Big J, as he was affectionately called, went to the University of Minnesota where he played football for the Gophers. His brothers were all drafted into Vietnam in the early 70’s. Big J procured a waiver and was allowed to run the family logging business upon graduating college. He and his high school sweetheart, Jessie Ann Blacksmith, got pregnant with my eldest sister, Johanna. Shortly thereafter, another unplanned pregnancy occurred, and my middle sister Josie was born. I came two years later in 1977. My childhood wasn’t typical of a northern Minnesota logging town. My parents had a lot of money due to the demand for quality trees and wood products. Several investments that my great grandfather and grandfather had made in the 1920’s and throughout the next decades were paying dividends in huge sums. We had hired help, nannies, cooks, cleaners, lumberyard workers, butlers, and maids. Two of my three uncles died in Vietnam. My third uncle committed suicide after his retirement from the Navy on 9/11/01. As it were, I wasn’t raised by my parents, I was raised by the promiscuous help. My parents were swingers for lack of a better term. We lived a life of decadence and uninhibited access to whatever we wanted when we wanted it.
Early on in my developmental years, my teenage years, I found power in getting what I wanted by being experimental. Men would give me my heart’s desire, usually in the form of cash or cars, if I simply showed them my body. When I was 16, a wealthy lumber baron paid me a lot of money to make his 16-year-old son popular. The wealthy associate feared his son was a homosexual and didn’t want to deal with having a gay son in Northern Minnesota. My job was to make the boy popular and sleep with him to turn him straight. I took the money, of course, I dressed the boy up in popular clothes, I faked dated him, I brought him from outside the circle to inside the popular realm. Things were going great, at least for me, but the wealthy associate unfortunately found his son in bed with another teenage boy. He dragged his son to my lumberyard, stripped me naked and paddled my backside with a chunk of hickory. It was a mind-blowing experience for me and one that etched itself into my psyche of the possibilities of future dangerous encounters. I was frenzied after my spanking, and I took his son’s virginity in the lumberyard atop a pile of discarded boards. After that, I became obsessed with pushing the boundaries of consensual relationships and experimentation on all levels. Watching my parents have multiple different partners throughout growing up, my dark path seemed normal. Life was meant to be experienced in all different forms, at least that’s what I was used to, so that’s the route I took, and it made a world of difference.
Kahn: So your formative years were filled with wealth, money, privilege, and decadence. What happened after you left Minnesota? What happened when you were away from the abuses?
Jane: Abuses? That’s intriguing. I used those men who “abused” me, just as much as they used me. After high school, I was accepted to the University of Angel Bay, right here in Angel Bay, WI. While at college, I met a T.A. He was shy, scared, timid, and meek. I wanted to break him. That was my goal. That was my task. I wanted to break him and exude complete and total control over him. I wanted him to tremble before me, be completely subservient to me, cower at the sound of my name, and take him from polished professional to broken soul no matter what. We started dating. Then we married. We had two children together. All the while I was laying the foundation for destroying this man. Once we had built this ordinary life, after the birth of our second child, I executed my plan with surgical precision. I began psychologically abusing him, emotionally torturing him, and physically assaulting him. He didn’t fight me. I knew he wouldn’t. I leveraged our children against him. He wouldn’t do anything to displease me or else his precious little children would feel my unbridled wrath. I was content for a while using Richard as a toy. I was a big cat, he was a small mouse, and I reveled in the fact he couldn’t escape me. As the days turned into years, my tolerance for violence increased. I had practiced infidelity many times, I had many partners, I traveled the world and experienced things that most people would classify as perverse or degrading. For me, those experiences fueled my insatiable appetite for dangerous and risky behaviors. I pushed the envelope, needed more or different dynamics after each encounter. The euphoria and extremely risky potentially toxic and dangerous lifestyle were my drugs. It filled me with a sense of purpose, a runner’s high if that makes sense. All the while when I couldn’t fulfil my desires my go to was to torment my lackluster husband. He filled the in-between times, until I could get another fix. It was a game, that’s all it was, it was a high stakes game to me, and I wasn’t very good at losing that game, so I didn’t lose. I always came out on top, always in a position of power, and I wielded that power with reckless abandon, always in a way that I felt dominate. Richard was just a plaything, something to practice on, something to hone my skills for dominance, power, control.
Kahn: Why did you want to break this man, Richard? Why did you feel the need to destroy him?
Jane: I wanted to destroy something beautiful, to twist something good and decent into a mess of emotion and fear. Without Richard, without having to learn how to use my powers effectively, I wouldn’t have amassed my expansive wealth and achievements.
Kahn: So what you’re saying is you owe him, more or less, for propelling you into this lifestyle where you reign supreme? Maybe instead of destroying your husband you should help him heal.
Jane: Feel free to heal my husband, Ms. Kahn. If that is what you are implying. He brought out the inner demon in me, he was always so prim and proper, so God damn perfect, never a black mark on his record. Hell, he didn’t even have a traffic citation in his driving history. Mr. Sensible, Mr. Careful, Mr. Pretentious. He’s weak, incapable of providing a decent life…He’s a librarian, for fuck sakes. A mediocre profession in the times of a digital age. I needed more than domestication. I’m not the type to mix him a drink and have dinner on the table when he returned from his pathetic job, if you catch my drift. I deserve much better treatment than that. And since he was inferior to me and incapable of providing for me, I destroyed him and used what I learned to take down others for my own personal benefit.
Kahn: What have you accomplished besides a voracious hunger for power and control?
Jane: In the 23 years of practicing my craft, I have achieved great success. My goals have been met, as it were. I sought out to infiltrate, exploit, and possibly terminate anyone who no longer suited my needs or didn’t go along with the program. From the loneliest law enforcement professional to the highest wealthiest men on earth, each had something that I wanted, and I found a way to take it.
Kahn: What do you have to show for it? All the destruction you have caused…what good comes from that?
Jane: Do you have a villa in the south of France that you can visit at any time, no questions asked, and it won’t cost you a dime? I do. I have open box seats to 15 professional football stadiums across the country. All I have to do is make a phone call. I receive a case a wine from an Italian Vineyard a month and currency never has been exchanged. I have season tickets to 3 major league baseball clubs in the United States and I never opened my checkbook. All it cost me was a little bit of my time. I have a suite on the top floor of a condo in Japan. I’ve never paid for it. I make a phone call, or a text, even an email, a private plane picks me up at the Angel Bay airport and I leave and go wherever I want whenever I want. Power, control, dominance, cunning, manipulation, those skills are my livelihood. I’m exceptional at my craft. Right now, as it were, I’m at the top of my game. To the most powerful people on this planet, I hold immense power over them. I had to learn though, and Richard was my sparring partner, so to speak. In order to be the best boxer, you have to fight. I learned how to get what I wanted by using less than conventional means on my husband and in turn was able to take those skills across the world.
Kahn: Are you evil?
Jane: People will say I’m an awful person, a delusional sociopath. A potential family annihilator, which I’m not opposed to by the way, but evil…that title seems inadequate. I’m more than evil, I’m vindictive and ruthless. I’ve created a counterculture here in Angel Bay and it has seemingly exploded to other major metropolitan arenas. If I weren’t the big bad wolf, we wouldn’t be having this conversation, would we? I wouldn’t even be on your radar. But here I am, on your radar, taking up your time because I’m that fucking important.
Kahn: Do you worry about criminal charges?
Jane: Sweetie, I’m in bed with the DA. He can’t charge me or the video of him in compromising positions will surface. His wife, his children, his reputation, his legacy rests completely with me. That’s a lot of power to hold over someone. Same with the police chief. I own this city. There isn’t anything I can’t do.
Kahn: What’s next for you?
Jane: I want to own an NBA team.
Jane: Because I can and it won’t cost me one cent of money. Infiltration, exploitation, termination. My three key principles. Just because it seems beneath the normal expectations of society doesn’t mean it’s not worth pursuing. World leaders request meetings with me and in turn I get lavish gifts, and immunity.
Kahn: Do you feel remorse?
Jane: I don’t know what that is. If the people I used for personal gain feel slighted or worthless, well they should have tried harder to appease me. It’s really pretty simple. Do what I ask, and everything will be fine, cross me and I’ll bury you alive, preferably, but dead is fine too. Maybe not in the physical sense, although it is always a possibility, but I’ll break you so far down that death would be welcomed. I ruin people. I destroy lives. It’s fun and I’m pretty good at it.
Kahn: Are you a prostitute?
Jane: It is the world’s oldest profession, but I look at myself as an entrepreneur. I found a niche. An untapped market, a hidden resource, an untouched source of revenue. I have one rule, what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. If for whatever reason I get crossed, then I’m a shark and there’s blood in the water. Nobody betrays me in any way shape or form. I’ll make them wish they were never born.
Kahn: Richard? What about your husband Richard?
Jane: You seem quite infatuated with my darling husband. Are you looking for a hookup? Or are you trying to save him from the thing he married? All is fair in love and war, right? He knew what this was. He’s just as culpable as I am. He knows better than to do anything like go to the cops. I’ll obliterate him. I’ll completely wipe him off the face of the earth. It’ll be easy, like swatting a fly. Besides…I have cops on my naughty list. Which makes me pretty damn invincible.
Kahn: Are you concerned about this expose?
Jane: No. If anything free publicity is the best kind of publicity. As long as I’m in the news, that means people are talking about me, good bad or indifferent and that will only bring me new conquests, new adventures, new areas of extreme lucrative potential. I want to rule the world, one influential person at a time. Consider me Augustus Caesar and I’m merely expanding my empire.
Kahn: You’re so bold and sure of yourself. You have such confidence. What do you want to say to your critics, or dare I say victims?
Jane: I can show them the world, as long as they are open and willing to play by my rules. Walk a mile in my shoes, and together we can be unstoppable. There is so much potential for women to exploit and abuse the people who try to pin us down. I don’t want to just break the glass ceiling, I want to shatter it and use the shards to cut and scar the prominent figures who for centuries have believed to be superior to people like me, like us. Come, take a walk on the wild side, Ms. Kahn. I promise it’ll be an experience you’ll never forget and it’ll fuel a desire inside of you to have it all.